new era
So I'm back posting on LJ. Why the hiatus? I think I was too busy writing in my print journal. Perhaps it is part of my generation but I find it more satisfying, at times, to write by hand and be able to physically underscore or alter my writing for emphasis. It is more cathartic somehow.

But I have also missed this. So here I am. I think I'm going to be a bit more judicious about what is posted openly and what requires being my "friend" to view that way I can write what I want with less concern than I had before. I said I was going to be uncensored but I think I was self-conscious about it anyway.

Everyone I know is tired. Everyone I talk with is just exhausted. I've been thinking about that and how it seems to be a global phenomenon. What's going on? Why are we more tired?

I think part of it has to do with the recent presidential election. The campaign lasted far too long (typical for the US) and was a tense time. Would the US elect a black man? Was Sarah Palin for real? Where did the John McCain democrats liked go? What the hell was Bill Clinton doing? These questions plagued us. And, as I wrote before, I was afraid to hope. Back in 2004 I was in such a bubble that I was actually surprised (perhaps one of the few who were surprised) that Kerry didn't win. I was not going to set myself up that way again. No way. So, I refused to get my hopes up. K went to Nevada to stump for Obama and part of me wanted to go but another part of me was just too afraid to get that invested in the campaign. I wanted to watch it from outside so I could be better able to accept the outcome whatever it was.

Even on Election Night I was stoic for a large part of it. My brother called me when Ohio went Obama and said, "Pop the champagne!" and I said "No. It isn't over yet." I know that no republican has ever won without winning Ohio but I still couldn't celebrate. I believed there was still a chance that the Republicans would cheat or do something to steal the election. So I waited. When Obama was finally declared the victor I wept. I still get weepy when I think about it. I read an article in Newsweek or New Yorker and I get teary-eyed. I don't even remember the details of his acceptance speech because I was too choked up. I need to youtube it. I do remember McCain's concession speech and the awkward Palin 20 feet away from him on the stage uncertain where to put her hands. McCain was the man I once respected during that speech. I believe that he didn't even like himself during the campaign. He sold his soul and will be remembered for that. That is unfortunate because I do believe he's a good man and could have made a better place in history for himself. When McCain mentioned Obama people booed. And you could see how uncomfortable that made McCain. His team had unleashed something and he was not capable of controlling it. It was sad. Then flash to Grant Park in Chicago where there were probably 8 times as many Obama supporters as what McCain had as an audience. The Obama family behind bullet-proof glass. He spoke and no one booed when he mentioned McCain. People were serious. We all know that something great has happened and that we are part of it. Geesh. I'm getting choked-up just typing it.

But I think in the wake of all of this, we are exhausted. It is kind of like how students nearly always get sick right after finals because they are pushing themselves and stressed and working on pure adrenaline. That's how the country and perhaps the world has been. We were waiting with bated breath to see what would happen. And we were afraid of what could happen. The economy is tanking. I know I personally have an extraordinary amount of consumer debt (but I am chipping away at it and it is less now than it was this summer so I am going in the right direction). People are nervous about the economy. But after Obama was declared the 44th president, some of the stress went away. And with it went the adrenaline and left us drained with fragile immune systems. So we, as a people, are exhausted and prone to getting sick. It's an interesting thing to watch.

In Santa Barbara we had the added stress of the Tea Fire. 200+ houses destroyed in 1 night. I wasn't really worried because the brush behind our house had burned this summer. But in the fire over the summer no houses were touched so this one was different. It was faster but with more intense tragedy. My housemates weren't here over the summer so they didn't experience the ash blizzard so when they complained about it raining ash during the tea fire I had to laugh. I said "This is not raining ash. It is a slight ash drizzle. A smattering of ash." They were not amused and they were contemplating evacuation. Our power didn't even flicker. This one was easy for us. But it has added to the general sentiment of stress and exhaustion.

I know that everything is not going to get better overnight just because Obama is the president-elect. The problems he and this country and the world are facing will not be resolved quickly. I know that people will get frustrated with him. The liberal pundits will be sorely disappointed because he is not a liberal by any stretch of the imagination. But he is a pragmatist and I hope he is able to do something. If nothing else the US showed the world that we are not the evil country that we have seemed to be under Bush. We are willing to change.

Yes we did.